Being a mother is never easy

Sleepless nights, dirty diapers, endless crying.

These are some of the ‘joys’ that come with being a newly-established mum. But what’s it like to go through all of this whilst you’re still a teen?

Let’s take a closer look…

In episode 2, we got a closer look at our girl Zamo – the party girl living her life to the full and seamlessly care-free. The problem is, she often forgets she has a young child to look after.  Choosing to prioritise a ‘Freshers Turn Up’ over looking after her baby Spoonkie is just a big ‘no, no’! How you gonna leave a defenseless child on their own like that? It’s low key child abuse!

THE TRIALS
Trying to satisfy your teenage kicks and constantly stay on fleek is pretty hard to balance. Everyone is out there living it up and you’re left at home with a serious case of FOMO. Our teenage years are the time when we learn a lot about ourselves: what we like, what kind of music we’re into, what food we dig; but such introspection is hard to explore when you are at the beck and call of a tiny human.

And on top of that, there is school work! Spending all day at school and then coming home and doing homework may be the least of your worries when you have to feed, wash and care for your baby. Waking up in the middle of the night to care for your child may leave you catching zzzs in the middle of science class. Mr Vilikazi would NOT be impressed. But what else are you meant to do? This balancing act is hard enough as a fully-fledged adult, let alone a young girl finding their way through this world.

But YOU as the mother need to find a way. Whether that’s seeking support from family members so you can have a day off a week or just a little time to yourself (because that’s important) or talking to a support group on how to balance being a teen mum. Having a child means certain sacrifices – so the lifestyle that you’re used to is going to have to change! You’re going to have to put that child first.

It’s difficult being a mother, but all the best things in life never come easy…

THE JOYS
Have you SEEN Spoonkie? Well, have you?! That kid is too much. Cute doesn’t even begin to describe little man. Look at this face:

Seriously though, being a parent can be one of the most rewarding experiences in anyone’s life. There lies a soul that is one million percent dependent on YOU, ready to give you their undivided and unconditional love every second of the day. Love comes in many shapes, but love emanating from your own child is enough to make your heart explode into a billion little pieces.

Having a child can help you learn a lot about yourself too. When something big happens in life it can help put everything into perspective. What is TRULY important to you? These kind of questions tend to be answered when we are faced with challenging circumstances. Prioritising your life can help streamline all of the bull out of your life, and focus on the things that are most important to you. Result.

Don’t forget though, shaping this kid into the kind of person you want them to be is a huge responsibility. Investing time and love into them, and then watching them grow over time, however, is sure to fill you with a bucket-load of pride.

THE REALITY
In South Africa there are 271 teenage girls fall pregnant EVERY SINGLE DAY. That’s a whole lot of girls who will now have to deal with the highs and lows of motherhood, whilst still rocking their school uniform.

Being a mum is a huge responsibility. No one can say exactly when the right time is to bring a new life into this world.

However, if you know that being a teen mum is not for you, then strapping up and taking contraception are some of the ways in which you can make sure that your teenage years are baby-free. Even if you do think that a baby is a good idea, make sure you and your partner have been tested TOGETHER. Condoms may prevent pregnancies but they also prevent HIV and STIs.

So make sure you and your partner know your status before making that big leap into parenthood.

Teenage mums we feel you. Your struggle is real but there’s help out there if you want it. Write in to us and share your story to take a load off your mind, or seek support and advice from professionals. For more information, check out Young Mom Support, a South African based organisation that has lots of advice for teen mums.

Having a baby as a teenager is NOTHING to be ashamed of. We all have different paths. It’s just worth knowing about some of the challenges you may face if you end up having a child a little earlier than you planned. Big shout out to the teenage mums out there doing their thing and trying their best to make the lives of them and their kids as good as they can be. You are our #WCW every single day!

If you have any personal stories you wish to share with the Shugafam then write in and let us know. All information sent to us can remain strictly confidential if you want. Sometimes it’s good to speak to someone…