Can you really trust your partner?

Being cheated on is never fun…

Finding out that your partner has cheated on you can be emotionally devastating. As if that wasn’t enough, it also means that your sexual health has been compromised.

In episode 8, Bongi finds out about Coalstove’s ex-girlfriend & her busy past, and at this point she remembers that Coalstove told her that they never used condoms. The worry sets in… For those of us who have been in a relationship at some point in our lives, the issue of cheating can be very real; whether we were the ones cheating or the ones being cheated on.

In episode 9, Bongi & Coalstove find out that they’re both HIV positive and the feeling of betrayal kicks in & she throws him to the curb. I don’t blame Bongi for reacting like this. She’s scared and confused, and doesn’t know how to deal with her newfound situation yet. What she needs to remember though, is that protecting their sexual health wasn’t just Coalstove’s responsibility. Both Bongi and him should have been tested TOGETHER, once they decided to have sex.

Recipe to a Good Relationship

In a good relationship you build trust, honesty & you become friends with your partner; it’s not only about sex. These are some of the pillars of a relationship and if one of them is broken, the relationship won’t function. Coalstove’s ex-girlfriend was unfaithful in their relationship. The consequence of this was him contracting HIV & passing it on to Bongi.

When you get stepped out on you question everything, including yourself; why did they cheat? Was it because of me? Where is the trust/honesty? These are some of the questions that go through your mind when you find out that your best friend aka partner cheated on you.

Personal Experience

As a person who has been cheated on and has cheated on their partner, I can answer some of these questions from a cheater’s point of view. I cheated in my relationship because I felt like I was alone in the relationship and the trust wasn’t there anymore after my partner cheated on me first.

Do I blame my partner that I cheated on them? Nope, it was a decision I made and I dealt with the consequences. The consequence for my cheating was the end of my relationship, which I still regret to this day. I, however, practiced safe sex because I am aware that in a relationship at some point, one person may step out.

Do not get me wrong, I am not saying this will happen in every relationship but you always have to practice safe sex, because you never know what your partner is doing when you are not there with them. ‘Hitting it skoon’ or ‘going to town’ (having unprotected sex) has always been a no-no for me, even in a relationship.

Consequences

As I said, relationships are built on trust, honesty and being friends with your partner; if one of you steps out then there are usually consequences for your actions. These could be contracting a disease or an STD, or your partner becoming tempted to get back at you by cheating too. The biggest consequence, however, is that your sexual health becomes compromised.

Whether you are the one cheating or the one being cheated on, by not using a condom, you are endangering all of your partners’ health. Being stepped out on is bad enough, but when you cheat on someone and also put their health at risk by not using a condom, it takes it to a whole new level.

You can never know for sure whether or not your partner has remained faithful. You could both get tested together and find out your status, but what happens when you’re not around is anyone’s guess. That’s why strapping up, even when you’re in a loving relationship, is the only way to fully protect yourself from STIs and HIV. If you found out that your partner stepped out on you, what would you do?

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