Under Pressure

Expectation. Worries. Stress. Force. All of these things come together to paint this big, bad, dark image we like to call pressure…

In MTV Shuga: Down South, like real life, pressure is something that all of our characters’ experience in one way or another. Whether it’s Q giving Reggie a hard time about being a virgin, or Tsholo feeling the weight of expectation as Sol showers her with gifts, or even Ipeleng; who has to contend with raising her younger brother by herself, whilst balancing work, school and a mountain of bills. We all experience pressure in one way or another. Society, family, friends and school are some of the sources of our daily stresses. Yet, it’s how we deal with this bundle of worries that defines who we are.

It’s when your back’s against the wall that you learn the most about yourself. Will you compromise your beliefs when the going gets tough?

Sometimes, sticking to your principles is hard, especially when someone is offering you an ‘easy’ way out. These quick-fixes, however, rarely represent long-term solutions, and you may find yourself worse off in the long-run. If you do find the pressure overwhelming, then DO NOT SUFFER IN SILENCE! Speak out and ask for help; you’ll be better off for talking about your emotions than keeping them to yourself.

People react to pressure in different ways. Let’s see how our crew from #MTVShugaDS tackle their personal challenges throughout the series…

FRIENDS

Our boy Reggie is definitely facing the heat in MTV Shuga: Down South. He’s following his dreams of being Zenzele’s graffiti king, but his old man (who also doubles up as his science-teacher) is having none of it, telling him it’s all a big waste of time. HARSH. Add to that his struggle with his own identity and Reginald Vilikazi has got the weight of the world on his shoulders.
But, the toughest of all may be the peer pressure he’s receiving from his best bud Q. The soccer boys have been bros since day dot, but Q is trying to get his boy to hook up with Zamo and be someone he’s not:

Reggie:
Zamo’s cool and all you know but I don’t think she’s what I’m looking for in a girlfriend.
Q:
Who says she has to be your girlfriend? Just hit it and quit it.
Reggie:
Na na Q that’s savage bruh I can’t do that to Zamo, she’s our friend!
Q:
You soft ey?
Reggie:
And you know you stupid right?
Q:
I’ll take that over being a virgin any day!

Wow. That was cold-blooded by Q!

Getting pressure from your friends is one of the toughest kinds out there. Friends are supposed to be your trusted advisors; the ones you can turn to when you need a helping hand. They are NOT meant to be pushing you to do something you’re not comfortable doing.

Sometimes, we don’t realise the pressure we put on others. The pen is mightier than the sword, and it’s easy to forget the power of words. What may seem like a ‘nothing’ comment to you, can have a profound effect on someone else. Choose your words carefully. No one wants to feel uncomfortable around their mates.

RELATIONSHIPS

Tsholo is dealing with a whole different kind of pressure than the type we saw Reggie struggling with. Her relationship with Sol, the original cheeseboy, has taken a dark turn. It all seemed like fun and games as he charmed his way into her heart, by buying her the latest phone. Those gifts, however, were not a token of Sol’s affection for Tsholo, but instead represented his expectations.

Buying gifts for Tsholo came with an unspoken price:

Sol: I’ve been good to you haven’t I?

Tsholo: Yes

Sol: Now I need you to be good to me, can you do that?

Accepting gifts or favours from a potential partner can change the whole dynamic of your relationship. The person dishing out the gifts now feels like you owe them. This can put a huge weight of pressure on you, and make you feel like you have to ‘repay’ them in some way, whether it be through attention, love or even sex.
That, however, is NOT how relationships are meant to work. Having this type of pressure in a relationship can be mentally and emotionally abusive.

Trying to put pressure on your partner whether it is physically, emotionally or mentally is straight up WRONG.

LIFE
Fam, do you ever have one of those days where you feel like everything is going wrong and you’re reaching your limit? For Ipeleng, this is a daily occurrence. After losing her mother, Ipeleng is now a teen head of house, and has to take care of her little brother Lemo, go to school, cook, clean and pay the bills. Ipeleng has got it rough, but even for those who experience life’s pressures in a different way, it can be equally draining getting through our day-to-day routines.

Ipeleng:
I’m coming back to school but I still need to make a living. We’re barely coping here!
Rather than pack-it-all-in, Ipeleng has got her head down and is trying to make the best out of a hard situation. Moving up from a dishwasher girl to a hostess is testament to her spirit, as she always strives to do better for her and her brother.

Looking at the pressures from friends, relationships and life in general has shown us how hard things can be sometimes. If you need help, then remember that you’re not alone.

If you can’t speak to your friends or family and need some advice, then the National Counselling Line is a good organization to turn to. They’re open 24/7 and can be called on 0861-322-322 (based in South Africa).
There’s nothing wrong in asking for help. Don’t let pride stop you from getting the support you need – we all need help sometimes, and talking things through could be the first step in easing the weight off your shoulders.

If you have any personal stories that you wish to share, then write in to us at info@mtvshuga.com – all stories sent in are confidential. For more information on some of the issues featured in #MTVShugaDS, check out our Knowledge Page for advice and support.