A story I wish I never had to tell

My name is *Leah and this is a story I wish I never had to tell.

A few years ago I started developing feelings for a long-time friend. He told me he had feelings for me too and asked me out. However, I wanted us to take our time and get to know each other better before developing a physical relationship.

We started spending a lot of time together and talking about what we expected from a partner. For me, it was really important that he understood that we would not have sex until I was ready. I was still a virgin at this point but I was not saving myself until marriage. I just wanted to be sure that he was the one I wanted to have my first experience with. He said that it was OK with him, but a few months later he wanted us to take things to the next level. I said no because, for him, it meant being more intimate and having sex.

One afternoon we were together in his best friend’s room with three other friends. It was raining, we were relaxing, and I fell asleep. Suddenly, I felt someone kissing me and trying to open up my trousers. I woke up and realised that we were alone. He said that there was nothing wrong with making love with someone that you have feelings for, and that I will feel closer to him if we had sex.

I was in a total panic because he was forcing me to undress. I struggled with him to keep my trousers on while pleading with him to stop. It was the longest and most horrible ten minutes of my life. I started crying because I knew he was stronger than me and I was getting tired. I was afraid of being raped by him. Then he said he was not going to hurt me and eventually let go. He left the room and I was alone. I felt vulnerable, angry, and sad. I was in shock. I could not believe that someone so kind and affectionate towards me could do that.

It took me a while to talk to him even though he apologised later. He said that he did not know what came over him and that he was really sorry for his actions. We had friends in common and we both hanged out with them, so with time we talked things over. I still had feelings for him, but for me, there was no way we were getting back together.

I really thought that we were going to have a great relationship together. We had so much in common, but he spoiled it all because he could not wait anymore. I understand that it might be difficult for someone who is sexually active to abstain for a while, but that does not give them the right to force his or her partner into having sex.

I hope that by sharing my story, other will have the courage to stand their ground and do things according to their wishes, and not for the pleasure of other people.

If you have a story like *Leah (*name has been changed to protect identity), please send it through to info@mtvshuga.com.