The morning after the night before

An extract from Malaika’s diary: The morning after the night before

He finally crossed a line he promised my father he would never cross—he actually beat me. My husband beat me. The months of emotional abuse—threats, accusations, torment—has now turned physical. How has my life come to this? I sobbed silently all night. I couldn’t sleep for fear he would hit me again.

I feel ashamed and angry at myself for feeling that way. He should be the one who is ashamed at what he has done, but he sleeps soundly at night.  How could my husband do such a thing? I have been the perfect wife to him: loving, honest, always there to see to his needs, as well as cooking, cleaning, and not questioning his late nights in the office.

He loved me once, I know he did. But I’m not sure what our love has now become.  I remember how happy we used to be, that wasn’t so long ago, but how quickly things have changed. All of my girls said I was lucky getting into a relationship with Nii—a slightly older, tall, dark, handsome, family man with a blossoming career. He used to be so romantic and tender back then. This is definitely not the same Nii I married. I’m scared to say it out loud but I’m beginning to hate my married life.
How cruel of Nii to embarrass me like that, dragging me out of Badoo in front of all those people. My friends are already beginning to talk of how controlling he is.

Maybe none of this would have happened if I didn’t go to Badoo in the first place. I can’t be mad at my husband for not wanting me to hang out with Sophie when the whole of Lagos knows how she earns her naira. Or can I? I’m just so confused. He was so sweet earlier in the day when he arranged dinner at our favourite joint. I must find that Nii again.

But first I have to figure out how to hide these bruises. I’ll have to try and cover it; I can’t skip school when my assignment is due. I just don’t feel like putting on a brave face, but today that’s what I must do!

Malaika experiences a lot of marital issues which she feels too scared to talk about. Abuse is never acceptable and shouldn’t be kept quiet. If you or someone you know is going through a similar situation to Malaika you can speak to a teacher, trusted family friend or a doctor to seek help. If you are based in Nigeria, you can also contact WELA for more support or advice.

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