The unforgivable night

An extract from Malaika’s diary: The unforgivable night

Where can we go from here? Where can I possibly go when my husband has abused me beyond a woman’s worse nightmare? I’ve heard horror stories on campus about runs girls who have been attacked by their clients when they’ve tried stealing their items, but to be raped in my own home, by my own husband. It’s incomprehensible!

No! No, no, no! I don’t want to call it rape, I can’t call it rape, and how could it have been that when I’m married?
This time I refuse to deny the truth—it’s not right, what Nii did cannot be right. Making love should be loving, I shouldn’t have been pinned down and forced. Nii what have you done to yourself? I believed you when you said you would cherish me, protect me and guide me through life, who would have thought that could include abusing me on all platforms, humiliating me both inside and out.

Where can I go from here? Who can I turn to? Sophie…hmmm, I’m not so sure, she already despises Nii and with her mouth who knows what the fallout could lead to—Nii being dismissed from his employment? I don’t want everyone at school talking about my sham of a marriage. I wish Nii would get help; he needs to know what he is doing is wrong, it’s not natural.
I can’t bear to call home and tell my parents about this. My Mum loves Nii, or rather she loves the side of his personality he shows to her. All my family want my marriage to be a success story. To now tell her that my husband has turned into a monster; I won’t be blamed for sending my mother to an early grave.

He was so cool when he kissed me goodbye this morning, like nothing had happened. I was too scared too flinch. What if I got another slap to the face or who knows what else? Of course he no longer loves me. There’s no way he could love me and treat me like this. I can’t bear the thought of him touching me again. What do I do, someone help me, what do I do?

Malaika experiences a lot of marital issues which she feels too scared to talk about. Abuse is never acceptable and shouldn’t be kept quiet. If you or someone you know is going through a similar situation to Malaika you can speak to a teacher, trusted family friend or a doctor to seek help. If you are based in Nigeria, you can also contact WELA for more support or advice.

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