Entitlement: What Are You Owed?

The other day, I was coming back from work. Due to traffic, it was around 9pm and I was putting on jeans and a well covered top. Some men started their stupid calling and the next thing was "Omo yi da set o, o ma dun do!"
I was like, what the fuck? ?? I ran as fast as my legs could take me...
P.S- They think I'm tush in my area and don't understand yoruba.

It’s appalling, the level of Decadence in the society we find ourselves today. I’m a guy and I have cut off friends not once, twice or thrice who my moral values don’t align with. It’s a male issues and a lot of men out there still feel like it’s their right to so many things. But what makes me happy is at least, there is a lot of awareness going on at the moment. That is a good step in the right direction. Hopefully when we do our part, as a generation we would influence the one behind us positively.

Nice piece as always, but I feel sometimes women actually cause these entitlements for example there are lots of women who lead men on knowing they don't want to have anything intimate with them but because they get stuffs from them they feel they can keep him and when he makes demands in return and he is turned down he becomes furious and feels he had the green light and thinks he deserves to have his way ...I am not in support of domestic violence in anyway and I believe men should treat women better.. also, women have their parts to play which they don't and end up blaming the man(in some cases)..we all have work to do individually that's the only way the world can be a better place .. And pls we are all ENTITLED to our opinions

I love this write up... this “entitlement’’ thing goes both ways, a lot of women too feel entitled too. For instance most women feel if they are dating you they are entitled to getting money or some sort of material thing on a regular basis. Same way some guys feel they must get sex. I read one of the comments here and its sad that if dress a certain way in this country and something bad happens to you, trust me most people will blame you. YES we are in the 21st century. YES the world is changing. but our society isn’t really because of our culture. It’s up to us and the next generation.

Nice piece Adebola, just like Ty has said some ladies are the cause of this 'Entitlement' thing....Why kick a chick if u dont wanna see the wrath of mother Hen...Yea, a smart man should know but like u said SMART MAN....Not all men are smart, it's better for ladies not 2 play along for d materialistic tyns nd den give xcuse wen he demands sumtyn greater... So i tynk its up to both parties to play a role in dis entitlement of a thing

A
really important issue to explore as part of the 16 Day of activism.
The insidious and too often invisible forms of aggressive and hegemonic
masculinities should be up front and centre in our work to end violence
against women and girls.

This feeling of entitlement can be quite disgusting. Had someone I just met while serving, we went out once for just a cup of ice cream and on our way back home he tried touching, I slapped his hands off and gave him that “if you don’t want to die”look. Got home and this mistake of a man had the effrontery to text me “I deserve to touch you if I feel the need to, afterall we had ice cream today”. I immediately transferred 2k airtime to him as I didn’t have his account number, and blocked his number.
You’re friends or nice with certain people and they begin to feel they have a right to your life.

I feel the sense of entitlement wouldn't stop until we are all aware especially men that whether married or in a relationship we are still "single". Single, I mean whole as individuals and we still have the responsibility of taking care of ourselves. Having a female friend/fiancee/wife doesn't give you ownership over her.
I think this is an issue to be addressed.
Thanks Adebola.

Great write up, in my own opinion i think Tradition is the major cause of this entitlement , majority of our doctrines, and laws acts as enabling factors to this problem, you go to traditional weddings and you be hearing them give some unbelievable advise to the wife all in the name of submission.

As much as this is true, it's a common human problem, not gender specific. What we need is a change of orientation- nobody owes you shit

Ha ha. Debola yaff vex. This is apt though, sadly. Good thing more people are speaking out about this 'I have power over you' craze.
The entitlement feeling starts with the little things and thank God, we can raise children who are aware of this from the beginning.

Nobody owes you anything, don't go about expecting anything. Whatever you get, appreciate.— Temitope Ogunlana (@TopeOgunlana) June 9, 2014

That's the thing people should realise it's the 21st century, i don't have to do anything. We are all equal, you can cook and i can cook for you its not a must. This kind of thing has been in society for too long, it needs to change.

The feeling of entitlement is disgusting, and i'm glad we are finally having discussions on this issue. I feel like it goes both ways, male and female.
Ladies please don't put yourselves in awkward situations first, no man is your atm even your husband. Even if a man is willing to pay the bills don't take advantage of it. Don't hang out with immature people(if you can tell) it saves you a lot of headache, the free lunch might not be worth the nonsense you would've to deal with later. Don't sell yourself short or cheap. Carry yourself with pride and know your worth. A lot would be avoided when we as ladies do what's right.
But sometimes doing all this isn't enough, I remember my nysc days my boss's friend had been asking me out for a while and I refused all his advances, the free lunch, the ice cream. One day, he saw me outside the office, asked me out again , I refused and he said " Do you've a boyfriend?
Me: No
Him: Ahn ahn Then who is touching this your fine body? "

I disagree with the definition of entitlement! And the fact we feel so isn't one to complain about!
Critically looking at your explanation and why men feel so, this isn't true for all circumstances!
Certain privileges, yes but no man in his reasonable mind would give in to forceful actions.
Perhaps the ladies who don't understand some things and generalising need to rethink their positions too and stop believing that because they are females, they have the rights to be spent on!