Just Another Day? Valentine's Day 2018

News

14/02/2018

Can we see February 14th as what it truly is – A very regular Wednesday?

Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against being head over heels in love or doing cute little things for that special someone dear to your heart.
In fact, I love love!
But isn’t it weird that we channel all the love that should be enjoyed all year round into specific days?

I have had really sad, dramatic and somewhat hilarious Valentine experiences. Looking back at it now, I think I just had expectations that were never even close to being met. These were very basic expectations, by the way. It’s safe to say that these experiences give us a chance to reevaluate and unlearn what we thought was the norm.

Throughout my childhood, I read a little over fifty books and 70% of those were romance novels (don’t judge a sister). Mills and Boons, Harlequin Romance and what not would make you believe life is some sort of fairytale and somehow, on Valentine’s Day, prince charming would come sweep you off your feet with a big bouquet of red and white roses, kisses, take you to a sea side dinner while you stare deeply into each other’s eyes and for some, maybe end the day with intense sexual healing.

What if none of those things happen? What if your partner is caught up with a pile of work on the 14th? What if he/ she is too broke to buy you anything? I mean, everyone’s still recovering from January and its one million long days.
What if your partner doesn’t even believe in Valentine’s Day? OH, THE MOST HILARIOUS!
Why do we stress ourselves so much?

You see, there are societal expectations of love and romance. We have attached more value to things than people, debasing the entire concept of love. Buying expensive gifts, spending a ridiculous amount of money, etc. If those expectations aren’t met, we feel like we aren’t so special anyway and we deserve way better. Sometimes, this is true. But do you honestly think it is wise to use the events of just one day of the year as a test of love?

I’ve been in super awkward situations where at the end of the whole Valentine’s Day craze, I end up being the only one in the midst of all my friends without a gift. Actually, it happened on several occasions. Of course, I didn’t feel good about it, but I never pressured whoever it is I was dating at the time to get me anything, even if my friends looked at me weird. Some people don’t get the idea of romantic gestures on just one day of the year. They aren’t wired that way, maybe they even have horrible memories associated with that day, just like me.

The single ones have it worse. Valentine’s Day is a total nightmare for those who aren’t in relationships. Lovers around you going on dates with cute photos and captions on their social media feeds… Oh what a time to be alive! Your need for attention, desire to be loved and the sudden hunger for a box of red velvet cake shouldn’t dominate your life or lead you to making unreasonable decisions.

The tradition of love should never be limited to one day. It can’t always come with material things. Valentine’s Day should never be a yardstick to measure the degree of love any one has for you. For what it’s worth, it should an icing on the cake not the cake itself. Stop putting yourself under intense pressure and just go with the flow.
Love is to be experienced all year round.

comments (24)

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Fetty Dee

Lol when i tell people it’s overrated, they say it’s because I’m single so I can’t relate.... the annoying part is the color, oh lord! I’m about to go blind because of ReD and White everywhere ???

Adebola Aduwo

LOL
All shades of red over here too!
Thank you for reading.

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Animashaun Hesjay Emmanuel

Wow. This is my best read since February started. Thanks for this, you have said the minds of a lot of people - including myself.
This whole idea of one day of love is a crazy one. It's good some people still see beyond the scam.

Adebola Aduwo

Thank you Emmanuel!

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Rahimah Odunsi

I’ve been feeling all shades of moody since yesterday but after two bites from two different black ants and this strong, powerful and beautiful article, I have snapped outta it. Afterall, today’s just Wednesday. ????????

Adebola Aduwo

I'm glad my piece made you feel better. You are loved.
Thank you for reading Lolade!❤

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Moyosore Adelowo

Today is the 14th of February 2018 and i have classes till 6PM. I will get home, get myself a bottle of wine, eat and sleep. I'm sorry is there anything else happening today that I'm missing?

Rahimah Odunsi

Yes!!! Me. You miss me but this isn’t the right platform to do this drama.

Moyosore Adelowo

Lmao go to bed lolade.

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Adebola Aduwo

LMAO
I'm not even sure what to say to you.?
Thank you for reading Moyo!

Moyosore Adelowo

Small thing like elephant ?

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Moyosore Adelowo

Still find it overrated. What is it than just some bourgeois desire to fulfill an ideal that society embeds in us from an early age to promote a consumer capitalist agenda ?

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Onyinye okpara

Valentine's day is here again. Some babes on ig and whatsapp are blinding my eyes with gifts and love emoticons. Some sisters that have broke boyfriends are killing themselves on relationship blogs. Some single ladies are beating themselves up. It's not that serious , what happens today doesn't guarantee that your partner loves you. Vals day shouldn't be the only day people express love to each. Well what do I know? I'm here hoping someone sends me cake!

Adebola Aduwo

??
Thank you for reading, Onyi!❤

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Ayomide Oluwasegun Tayo II

Rightly said, love is 24/7-365 and not a day's celebration

Adebola Aduwo

Thank you for reading, Ayomide.

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Elizabeth

Exactly!! You hit the nail right on the head. Its so annoying the way people overhype Feb 14. Urghhh!! My friend and I have been angry at all the people wearing red today.

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Rhoda Ade

Finally someone see's fro. My perspectives, shouldn't we create days to celebrate our love?.
Shouldn't we exchange gifts as often as we please.
Feb 14 I will work till 5pm, go to class by 6pm, it is no different from every other day.

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Omotinuolaji

You just hit the nail on the head! I was in a 7yrs relationship and i never got as little as a pen for val!!! Pathetic innit? But we never fought or argued about it because we both just didnt care meanwhile my friend gets Christmas gift from her bae (if she can get for Christmas that is not her own birthday sef, imagine val’s day for her).... two different people we were, but life goes on and we must live it. One day should not be used to measure love ✌?

Adesina Titilope

Lol. It's like you are saying my life story,literarily. Some people just don't believe in the Val's day iss jare.
And that's truly not the test of love

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bolu adeosun

The single ones have it worse!! yen yen yen ??? someone canor be single in peace again.
Great write up by the way, its the red cloth that you people always wear around that annoys me the most. feb 14 is the only day some lovers actually show love to each other, every other day of the year the love enters hibernation mode, we keep over hyping a normal day of February,

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Tolulope

Lol you wrote my mind out. Valentines yen yen yen
? Great read, Debola!

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Tayo Owonikoko

I dont think it is too late comment..this is a very good write up. The funny thing is that if as a guy u don't get gift for your girlfriend on val's day it is believed that u don't love her or u are stingy. So much importance is attached to this day and its annoying. The important thing is the other days not just using a single day to judge love.

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Oghentega Sakpere

Awesomeeee read. For real though, Perhaps we've heard this "Love is not to be shown on just Vals day alone" and it's become cliche, but you just brought so much life to it.
I legit questioned myself yesterday and said, "Is it that I've not impacted anybody's life ni? (although I eventually got cupcakes, but that's not the point).
It's that I literally got a whiff of that bad pressure that pushes some people to go overboard and lose themselves. Nah I really give you thumbs up girl for this post. Your points are so articulated and very accurate, relatable too. Good work B ?

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