Leo’s diary – I'm to blame

I love Sophie, she’s everything a guy could ask for; beautiful, career-driven, kind, loving, fun to be around…

I could go on forever. I respected her decision to wait a bit longer before having sex, but it wasn’t easy!

When you love someone, you often want to show that affection through sex but I’ve learnt that there are many other ways to be intimate without sex. I know this and I know about respecting a person’s body, mind and choice – especially when it comes to sex.

I know that “no means no”, no matter how long you’ve been with your girl. So where did I go so wrong? I’m sitting here feeling so ashamed. I can still hear Sophie’s piercing screams in my ears, her look of fear and vulnerability. I put that fear into her, and I hate myself for it.

I was drunk, but I know that’s not a good enough excuse. I knew what I was doing, but I would never ever mean to hurt Sophie. Once I realized what I was doing, I stopped myself, but it was too late, I had already broken her trust.

I don’t know what to do next. How do I make it up to her? How do I show her that I’m a real man? A man who doesn’t hurt women. A man who respects women.

I don’t know how I’m going to do it but I’m sure going to try.

Leo