Let's REALLY talk about sex…

A few days ago, my girlfriends and I went for a catch up at a restaurant. Shortly after we arrived, we noticed a couple with two gorgeous children not too far from us.

They had barely settled down when their little girl (she must have been about 7 years old) asked casually and loudly “Mummy, where do babies come from?” her blue eyes looking up trustingly, obviously waiting for a reply. With bated breath, we waited to hear the response the child would get.

Although we couldn’t hear everything the young mum was saying, we could tell she was not embarrassed by the question. In fact, she was attempting to explain where babies really came from as simply as she could.

“Do you remember when mummy’s tummy was big? “Well, that was Luke in my tummy” she said pointing at her son.
Oh Africa!” My friend Bibi suddenly exclaimed, distracting us from eavesdropping further.

“Why can’t all our mothers be like this ehn?” she asked. “I mean, I can pretty much discuss anything with my own mum because she is a medical doctor. How many of you can?” she hissed.

“Aren’t you lucky? At least you have a mother that will even talk to you.” Folu replied jokingly. “The topic never even came up in my own house oh! And till today, my mother will rather have her eyes removed than talk about sex with any of her kids”.

“Mama Folu talk about sex? Sex ke?

“But did you ever ask her?” Helen, the quiet one of us, gently objected. “It could be that she was waiting for you to ask, but you never did”.

“How will I ask someone who thinks watching sex on TV is a sin ehn?” Folu replied heatedly, obviously not liking the implication that she was in any way at fault in this situation.

“Well, my sister and I didn’t think our mum would talk to us about sex, but once we asked her a question and she answered, we knew it was OK to ask more. It’s awkward at times, but least I know I can go to her for anything. ”, Helen finished.

We promptly went back to chatting about random things to avoid a blowout, but later on as I walked back towards my home, I thought of the young girl in the restaurant. I thought of how nice it was must be for her to grow up having such a trustworthy friend in her mum, and to get to hear the truth about ‘complicated’ grown-up stuff when she asked.

I also thought of my own childhood. I remembered the evening I had asked my mum the same question of where babies come from and how she had told me that babies were delivered by angels to mummy and daddy after they had prayed and asked God for one.

“Knowledge is power” they say, but perhaps it is knowledge from the right source that is true power.

I believe that sex education is very important. Young people need to get the right information to help them make considered decisions as they grow older. Teaching them about relationships, safe sex and contraception is foremost a parent’s job before it becomes society’s, I believe.

What do you think about sex education in Africa? Did you have a sex-talk with any of your parents while growing up?