Much Ado About Sexting…

Leila’s decision to send her nude pictures to Tobi had the whole Shugafam talking. Jola Ayeye just knew she had to lend her voice to this topic

For many of us, the thrill of the digital world is unmatched. There is the ability to create and present a persona completely different to who you are in “real life”.

Bonding with people (whom you might never meet) across the world, based on shared musical, artistic, political and lifestyle preferences is an everyday reality.

Online, anyone can become an overnight star with just a picture and a witty caption or a 10-second video. The digital landscape has changed and continues to change the way we live and communicate, and young people are making the most of it!

This is made particularly obvious in social and romantic exchanges. We are now meeting, getting to know one another and maintaining relationships using the digital world.

Since the early 2000s, people have found a way to send sexual material over the internet through a number of ways. From sending photos on email, to chat rooms dedicated to talking about sex, people have been sending suggestive material from anywhere in the world. These days those exchanges are quicker and more frequent. With the click of a button, a picture can be shared to multiple people and many times, there’s no going back.

“Isn’t it scary, or risky”?

There is often a confusion about why young people are sexting. For one, we are very curious and fascinated by sex and sexuality. However, many of us are growing up and attempting to navigate sex in ‘traditional’ societies that are trying to teach a “healthy” attitude towards sex (which usually involves encouraging abstinence).

Sexting was borne (and has flourished) out of the need for experimentation and quick satisfaction. There is also pressure involved. The need to be viewed by our friends and peers as part of a shared experience, and to prove that we are just as daring, or mature as everyone else sees many young people sexting freely. If everyone else seems to be doing it, then you might as well right?

What other factors contribute to sexting?

Love, or at the very least the belief that you’re in love, is also a major reason for sexting amongst young people. A perfect example of this is Tobi and Leila. Their case is particularly interesting because their relationship isn’t exactly built on a solid foundation of trust. Leila suspects that Tobi cheats on her, and half of their time together is spent arguing about who he is spending his time with, and his refusal to fully commit to their relationship. However, Leila believes that she loves Tobi and when he asks her to send him naked pictures, she allows her “love” for him to override her instincts and personal discomfort.

#MTVShugaNaija: Tobi is trying to spice things up with Leila by asking her to send nudes… how would you react if your boyfriend/girlfriend asked you to send them explicit pictures? ? pic.twitter.com/l0zC2pWYtu

— MTV Shuga (@MTVShuga) March 14, 2018

What could go wrong?

Data breaches happen and there is the possibility of images ending up in the hands of people they were not intended for. And, it’s worth noting: the internet never forgets. It’s virtually impossible to delete every trace of an image once it gets onto the internet and that alone is not worth the risks involved in sexting.

If the possibility of your images being shared beyond their intended targets doesn’t worry you, maybe this will – about 25% of young people who received sexts in the form of images admit to sharing the images with other people (e.g. showing the images to their friends). That means one in 4 people who have been sent intimate images, break the bond of trust and share them with other people. That leaves open avenues for bullying, blackmail and insecurity.

Curiosity amongst young people about sex and sexuality is perfectly normal, and figuring out a healthy way to sexually interact is extremely important.