Sex, love, and blurred lines

“Can you believe that idiot?” My colleague Alice was raving. She was so angry tears were streaming down her face.

“Can you imagine that good for nothing idiot saying that what we had was never love? He said it was fun! “Who lives with someone for over six months just for fun?”

According to her, their relationship was perfect. Dotun was a ‘big-boy’ broker, they went on holidays together and he loved her – or so he said – and she was content with him.

“So what changed?” I couldn’t help asking.

“A few months into our relationship, I realised Dotun never introduced me as his girlfriend. He always just said my name. We’d also never been out with any of his friends or mine for that matter; there was always a reason he wanted it to be just the two of us, it was like we were living in our own little bubble.”

“The more I thought about our whole relationship, the cracks began to show. To top it off I was always the one to say “I love you”, he would say it, but it always came from me first. It didn’t bother me at the start, but yesterday it just got to me, so I demanded to know what exactly was going on.”

“I was expecting him to be apologetic and release an outpouring of love and emotion. Instead he flatly told me he had never wanted a relationship, he was just looking for someone to ‘hang’ with on the regular and the sex was good so he stayed!”

My heart went out to her. She had clearly pictured a life with Dotun – marriage, a house, and children – but all he saw was a willing sex partner! It was heart-breaking, but unfortunately not uncommon.

Her situation lingered in my mind long after I left work. I couldn’t help but think, do some guys just say they love you because of the conquest? Since when is love synonymous with sex? Surely there are many willing sex buddies out there. Why con someone into it?

Guys and girls, what do you think? Have you had a similar experience? Comment below.

Written by guest blogger Kome Olori